The Art of Longing

What do you long for? If you are young, a life partner? A fulfilling career? Children? Or if you are of a certain age (which means old) do you long for financial security and retirement? A body that doesn’t hurt? Mending of broken relationships? More than any other composer, I believe Beethoven created music of longing for something never gained, or longing for something lost. I will never create anything as moving and substantial and beautiful as Beethoven, but my life is for the most part fulfilling and I’ve been fortunate to achieve most of what I dreamed of as a younger self. Sadly, that is not true of Beethoven. He never got the wife he longed for. He never had the children he wanted. And sadly, his battle for the heart and soul of his nephew ended badly. His mother died young and his father was an alcoholic burden. Beethoven was difficult, unhappy and unsuccessful overall in his friendships. Add to that his deafness and how he suffered from a host of health difficulties. DAMN! I’m not sure I could come through all that at all. But triumph he did.

Here is a composition of hopeful longing. It is dedicated to his friend Baron Gleichenstein, who played go-between with the family of Therese Malfatti, a young woman that Beethoven hoped to marry. And such a vital performance decades ago by Yo-Yo Ma and Emanuel Ax.

That same young woman had a nickname, Elise. And for her Beethoven composed this short practice piece for the piano. It starts easy and gets harder. Some people claim that the harder part was written after she rejected his proposal. And watching this person play with animated notes is really fun.

Gustav Klimpt, that renowned Austrian artist, focused on this aspect of Beethoven’s unfulfilled longing in his series of tribute to the composer.

I do believe Beethoven would like his triumphant depiction.

When I reflect upon poetry and poets who best express longing, I think of Emily Dickenson. She gives voice to the lonely and unfulfilled and finds solace in nature. Sound familiar? Here is her Poem #579. It depicts painful longing, and then the realization that maybe happiness will not be found in the way you desire. The wanting stays unresolved.

I had been hungry, all the Years —
My Noon had Come — to dine —
I trembling drew the Table near —
And touched the Curious Wine —

‘Twas this on Tables I had seen —
When turning, hungry, Lone
I looked in Windows, for the Wealth
I could not hope — to Own —

I did not know the ample Bread —
‘Twas so unlike the Crumb
The Birds and I, had often shared
In Nature’s — Dining Room —

The Plenty hurt me — ’twas so new —
Myself felt ill — and odd —
As Berry — of a Mountain Bush —
Transplanted — to a Road —

Nor was I hungry — so I found
That Hunger — was a way
Of Persons outside Windows —
The Entering — takes away —

“That Hunger was a way of persons outside windows, the entering takes away.” That is Beethoven and his triumphant 9^th Symphony. That is a poet who spent years longing for something she wasn’t sure she wanted. And that is a life.

May you understand all your heart’s desires, and make peace with all that pulls you from one day to the next. Until then, enjoy music, dive into poetry, and thanks for visiting thetonepoet.com.